When I confronted him he told me you are going to believe her instead of me? I just recently went on my husbands app purchases and found multiple free text and calling apps that he has downloaded and a flirty emoji app that he had downloaded. WHY me? This is the point where we start a steady decline. Ive been through depression as i was beat severely by my father while going up. He didnt know about that! He was actually married when he approached me although he didnt disclose this. It was a friend, who also disliked the girl. He was very defensive and didnt apologize for worrying me until the end of our conversation. and their father dont want to change.. please help. When she was far along her pregnancy, she would call out his name to speak to him, and he would ignore her. We have been married for 16 years. He knows my heart knows the truth. It sounds like your marriage has been filled with emotional upheavals, suspicions, disruptions, and lack of communication. Long story short, married 8 years together 13. I encourage you to get help. There are no easy answers when youre getting signs that your husband is cheating and lying about his affair or his Facebook activities, or his relationships with coworkers. He said she was a long time friend and he was only talking to her because her father had recently passed away. Why did he do this to me? But he says nothing. That makes me feel like a target and that she cant stand by me. When he is home, I dont even get acknowledged anymore its like no matter what I feel like Im bothering him. We have been shopping for cars, furniture, but then he turns the other way. 2 weeks ago when I was visiting him he said I should look for an apt. He said okay, it was just a picture because she wanted to show him her new hair style, whatever! Have you yourself ever had a gut feeling and it was wrong? when i got pregnant he made an appointment for me to abort it despite him being so religious and pious (the main reason I married him). Now a yr later, about the sametime, i have the same gut feeling. I was trying to convey this to my H tonight when he tried making me wrong for having trust issues. Id also like to add that therapy and books are wonderful way to get insight on this issue but a real discussion is much more effective with people who dont know you personally and will not be bias or possibly because you are paying for their expertise. They do not speak to me and he doesnt introduce me to them. ANY ADVISE!!!!!! I confronted him, he lied about it and then when I told him that he was having an affair, he tried to turn the tables and say that it was my fault because for so many years I withheld sex from him and treated him less than a man. That means shes is very close by like in the barn waiting on him. Someone please give me some advice??? You get what You allow. I found texts from a local number talking about hooking up. Meanwhile I found out he joined a singles club and I dont know how long he has been part of this club. Dating advice for women and men, plus tips for love relationships. He maintains this woman is in no way, shape or form interested in him. *didnt knwo i could get pregnant* apparently he has a daughter he said died a few days after she was born which i know for a fact is lie but he is sticking to his story, the same about the girl from NC he said he didnt have sex with her. He has 3 children and I am very close with all of them. Be wise. Now, if you have children, youll probably not want to spend your days crying in front of them. He also is defending her and said I dont know her so I can call her a home wrecking whore. When I nag, then he buys me things. If you do take your husband back, though, you cannot hold his cheating against him forever and bring it back into every argument you have. Some apps track location, some keep track of calls and texts, and so on. It sounds totally one sided and he sounds like hes treating you like crap. When I clicked on the mouse of the computer, to my total shock and disgust, there was a live porn chat on my screen. If your wife is suspicious of you, its because you are behaving suspiciously. What this study says is that when you put all of those things together, for men, personality characteristics are so strong they bounce everything else out of the model. Never believe verbal statements over nonverbal body language. Hi, I read your comments and stories and i just want to share mine. I pulled our phone records and notice there were sending text messages back n forth to one another . He then told me he kissed her, put his hands up her shirt, and made out with her. 11 Core Values in a Relationship and Why They Are Important, When to Let Go of a Long-Distance Relationship and How, 8 Signs Youre Not Sexually Compatible and How to Handle It, How to Overcome Fearful-Avoidant Attachment Style, Lack of Communication in a Relationship: Causes, Effects, and Tips, What Makes a Man Want to Protect You? That is a very dangerous place to be. Then, Fall of 2010, I thought my hub. My husband finally admited he had a drug problem. It doesnt fit his personality at all. Now he is talking to this girl he sees at work who babysits his bosses kids. You can be free, you can be healthy, you can learn to love again if you so choose. He refused to stop communicating with her. This is all too familiar. He dont see how this is affected or family.. There's only one way to know if your partner is cheating: Nope, it's not by thumbing through their text messages and emails. I dont know you, but YOU DESERVE TO BE TREATED WITH RESPECT!!! And there is no hope left for us. He admitted to me that he asked her out on a date, but she refused to call it a date, so it was merely just friends. I was happy with my life tell yesterday! Now, i dont mean to scare you even more.. what im saying is that you have to be aware of that and take in mind that this is not so far from reality as it may seem to you right now. Which is why you should be honest, letting your husband know that you want to take your time to get to know each other and even date again. I now have 4 children which I love more than anything. And it hurts to be slapped in the face with this realism. Try to be supportive of her and look for support for yourself elsewhere, or her confusion could rub off on you. Because lately all he seams interested in is video games, porn, and what ever he wants to do. But they like to act as if it didnt happen. Promises he wont lie again and hell tell me next time he goes out. You have to understand how he is wired. I wanted him to hurt the same way I was hurting, but I didnt want it to affect our kids. Husband has a friend hes had for 5 yrs. Im not married but I have a baby with my live in partner. He said you heard me. I get it. these conversations are about how he wants to make them feel sexualy, where they are going ot meet, the one with my so called best friend says that he had gone there and that she was getting better at certin things. With her Facebook page full of selfies with her and other men. So am I a cheater? Write down the answers. Why would you want to be with a man who does this to other women when hes in a relationship with you? He claims that they only had lunch and that if he ever did sleep with her or had taken their relationship to a physical level he would not continue our marriage. Now this is an ex he told me was a big mistake, shes this shes that bla bla bla. I found out he had been cheating on me while we were courting and funny enough he never stopped.each time i confronted him ,he came out very defensive and made me feel like i did not know what i was saying. He saw a conversation i had with on of my guy friends about smoking and took my phone away from me and told me i wasnt allowed to speak to him ever again or else he will take me to court to get custody of our child. He mentioned once, after they got married how he has to stop talking to me, that she almost found out. He was wonderful. This October woukd have been my 20 year anniversary. I was merely trying to share from a place of rational thought based on personal experience and what I have observed in others. Tells me last night that our relationship is boring. Why would you skype with them people? I wish I have known, I spent 3 years with himI feel stupid to trust him and every maneven though telling his wife makes me feel better but Im not there 100%. Below are marriage counselor Gary Neumans signs that a husband is having an affair. It hit me straight in my stomach. This man has done nothing but bring me down in the 6 1/2 years weve been together. i have been only married for a year and my husband is bi-sexual since he started this new job he has been giving a female coworker a ride to work even though she lives right down the street from their job but it is cold outside but he always calls her or text her after i leave for work. Let me ask you something Teresaare you on a lot of narcotics? A short time after moving in I discovered he had made contact with an ex (had promised he would not do this again with her.) Get out..stay out.. go to Coda, 12 step program or Al-Anon, & learn. I hope you two got counseling. He came out and told me. They come into the house as soon I leave and they soil the bed lenons they tear my stuff up and steal whatever they can. I went to the bathroom 5 minutes later, and I came down to ask him a question, and he was chatting with someone on facebook. No guy will work for sex in the way you are describing (unless it was really, REALLY great sex, and/or the guy is so horrible he doesnt think he could get any, anywhere else, and even than, for a year like that, it would have to be something that keeps on getting better, or even great sex will get old). Im so sorry you are going through this! They are always my work colleagues and are always independently minded, intelligent and highly educated women with a penchant for fashion, as is my wife, and two of them (who also knew each other) after admitting the affair to her became my wifes friends too, along with their husbands. He wants me to leave because he doesnt support me anymore and he doesnt want to live with me anymore. You do. Hes taken me for two walks, which means pushing me in a wheelchair around the lake because I cant walk that far with my walker, in a month. I could t hear the message cause his phone is blocked, but I honestly suspect he keeps lying to me. Youve been with him for more than half your life, but I believe you have the strength to live without him. The only reason i think people who have been married for years might have a chance at fixing it, is because they built a relationship and fell in love with each other once. I had a brief infidelity and lied to save face. I just need to know 100% the truth before I walk away i need clousure. He wrote The Truth about Cheating because he wanted to empower women by showing them how men think which includes why husbands cheat on their wives. My prayer for you is that you find peace. This last chance, Im not sure whether it is work or not. 3John2, Been there too honey.weve been married 20 years and have 3 kids so I understand the place youre coming from. I never really heard him open up about her. I didnt see the big deal. Try googling how to put a tracker on my husbands phone and plenty of info pops up. I couldnt leave them and he changed his story the next day. He has admitted he cheated but he always says it like I cheated instead of just sounding flat out he cheated. He tells me 2 recieve his calls n do so many tins on his behave but why im i feelin dis way? She paused and gave him the phone and he was laughing talkin about he was just playing with me. For better or worse is what I said on our wedding day.i meant those words down to the core of my being but when is worse, actually the end? So, I can only hope that my story is either consolation during your trying time or its food-for-thought during your careful consideration on staying married. 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